Lost and Found
by Inexplicably Waiting
Summary: "It's you." - Of all the wolves fate could have played its little practical joke on… in some bizarre way, it just made sense that it would be the two of us. It's strange the way things work out sometimes, isn't it? It seemed that Leah and I were always destined to draw the short straws in life - so why were we really even surprised by this new twist? Embry x Leah
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

_I haven't always felt this way - like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is or when I lost it. Maybe I never had it and I've only just recently felt its absence. I feel like only half a person - a gaping void in that other half's stead._


	2. Chapter 2: Well That's New

**Chapter 2: Well, That's New**

**Embry's POV**

I don't know why I feel like this. I wish I didn't, I mean who really wants to be in mind-numbing emotional pain around the clock, for no clear reason and with no foreseeable end in sight?

No one, that's who.

The worst part of the whole thing is the pain that I know it causes the rest of the pack. It sucks that I'm in pain, but it sucks worse that I have to pass that hurt along to my brothers and there's nothing I can do to stop.

It's so overwhelming that it permeates my every thought, even going so far as to cause a physical ache as well. I know I'm not the same person I used to be. I want to be but I'm not.

_I haven't always felt this way - like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is or when I lost it. Maybe I never had it and I've only just recently felt its absence. I feel like only half a person - a gaping void in that other half's stead._

I don't know what it is, but if I don't fix it soon... well, let's just say I _have_ to fix it soon. I just hope it's not too late – that finding it will make me normal again... happy.

Okay, well maybe 'happy' is setting my sights a bit high. Honestly, I'd take normal, angsty teenage depression over being _this_ cripplingly miserable.

I remember when I first began to feel the hole. Well, not the _exact_ moment. And I guess it's not exactly a hole, really, either – I just don't know how else to describe it.

But anyways, I remember the first time I consciously _realized_ that the 'hole' was what I was feeling instead of just mentally blowing it off as feeling a bit 'off'…

The presence of vampires in our area was frequent for a while following the big showdown with the Volturi. Most often it turned out to just be curious immortals interested in the famed Cullen half-breed, who would promptly be asked to leave the area. And by 'asked', I mean offered the only other alternative – a violent death at the hands of a combined Cullen-Quileute death squad.

After six months or so though, the "tourism" died down. The year since has been relatively quiet, with only the occasional leech accidentally wandering into Quileute territory.

With little-to-no new vampire activity, there have been no new pack members added since the Volturi's departure. The count stands at seventeen.

After the battle (which has since become legend throughout the supernatural world), Quil and I wore down Jacob – ever-reluctant Alpha that he is – to allow us to join his pack. Obviously loyalty to our best friend was a major concern in the decision, but I'd be lying if I said it was the only (or even the main) factor in my choice to switch packs.

In all honesty, the noise in my head while phased was more than overwhelming in the larger pack. I mean, _all_ those voices – especially the younger ones (who had just become wolves in response to the expected arrival of the Volturi vampire army). They never shut-up! I know I've always been considered one of the quieter guys of the original pack, but they also say I'm the most patient…

And seriously, this was enough noise to unhinge a guy. The move proved to do immediate wonders for my mental health. For a while, at least.

Once the parade of vampire groupies hoping to catch a glimpse of Renesmee died down, Leah moved to Seattle to study at the University of Washington and get a fresh start. So our little pack shrank and I only had to share headspace with Jacob, Quil, and Seth.

The loss of our Beta required that someone step up and take her place. With Seth still in school and Quil constantly travelling back and forth to the Makah reservation for Claire, I didn't have much of a choice.

Let me be _very_ clear, I am not - nor have I ever claimed to be - top-notch leadership material. It's just not me. I have no natural drive to be in control, give orders, etc. – you know, the general attributes _required_ for the second-in-command.

This turned out to not be such a big issue in a pack so small, and one with only 'veteran' members. Seth and Quil didn't really need anymore leadership than what Jacob already provided, so the job of Beta became more of an honourary title and not much changed about my roll in the pack. What the position _did_ entail, though, was that I split the bulk of patrol shifts with Jake.

In keeping with the spirit of the alliance formed in the fight against the Volturi, everyone had continued to cooperate in defending both Nessie and our combined territories from unwanted vampire intrusion.

The increasing level of trust between the Quileute wolves and the Cullen family rendered the old treaty practically useless. No one worried that one of the Cullens might bite a human and the Cullens certainly didn't worry about us hunting them or letting their secret slip (after all, we preferred our existence remain a secret too).

The border, as such, was a thing of the past. And while the Cullens usually avoided entering our ancestral lands, it wasn't because they worried about breaking the treaty - it was more out of respect for our delicate senses of smell (even their "vegetarian" vamp-stink tended to stick around for a few days following any visit).

Nessie, on the other hand, was on the res all the time with Jacob. The only stink she had was usually second-hand – the smell of her immortal family lacing her clothes. Jake kept a few clean sets of clothes for her at his place, which she changed into when visiting. We were all very appreciative.

Even though it had died down significantly, the vampire "tourism" situation was still an on-going concern. For the sake of convenience, Jacob and Sam had decided to leave the patrols separate. We patrolled the perimeters of the Cullen lands and Sam's pack stuck to the traditional La Push patrol. No one bothered worrying about the border between the two territories anymore.

Anyway, back to the whole point of the story…the day I first noticed _it_, I was patrolling the eastern border. I kept feeling pulled farther and farther eastward. Having already just followed the pull off Cullen property, I felt the urge to just continue running east – passing right by Forks - all the way to Port Angeles, maybe even as far as Seattle.

Not paying attention to anything other than the insatiable pull, I narrowly missed colliding head-on with an inconvenient tree. I had still managed to trip over a pesky exposed tree root though – all four legs failing me as I tumbled to a stop. It was enough to knock me back to my senses and I turned around to head back to the patrol I was supposed to be finishing up.

That's when the pain first started. Running back towards La Push, I felt the pain steadily increase as I ran through the Cullen lands towards the reservation and the ocean. By the time I got home it was excruciating. I crashed straight into bed and stayed there.

After hibernating in bed for several days with no improvement, Jake brought the Doc to check me out. No luck. Carlisle had no idea what was wrong with me. He found nothing that should be causing me any physical pain.

But as always, he was quick to give us the disclaimer, "Keep in mind, I know very little about your shape-shifter physiology – just more than a human doctor would. Realistically, I'm no more qualified a diagnostician than a veterinarian might be in this case. I'm sorry, but I'm at a loss." His slight grin at the vet crack told me he was trying to lighten the mood. I wasn't feeling it.

It never got any better. If anything, it had steadily continued to get worse and worse. I rarely ever left the house – okay, really my bed – anymore. And even then, only to patrol. My body hurt everywhere, all the time. Whether as a human or as a wolf, running and even walking had become chores requiring major effort on my part. Most days I didn't have the energy to do either and, on the days when I did have the energy, I used the 'exercise' as a way to tire myself out enough to pass out again.

All I wanted to do was sleep… all the time. Because if the effect _it_ had on my body was bad, the toll _it_ had taken on my mind was even worse. My mind hurt too. I'm not trying to say I had a really bad headache – although my head _did_ hurt, just like the rest of my body. What I mean is… well, I guess you could say… my soul hurt.

And the worst of it all, was that there was no way to keep the rest of the pack from feeling it. If I had to be miserable, fine. There's not much I can do about that. But to think that I was hurting my brothers hurt more than anything.

It's different today though – hence why I'm beating this dead horse in my mind yet again. Today it changed. Even as I mentally sift through all the details of it while I run – hoping to exhaust myself with the searing effort _that_ takes these days – I feel the constant pull to the east. Well, that's nothing new. So what's different then?

It's hard to describe the change; the pull is somehow just… more… defined? Is that how I would describe it? It feels no stronger or more painful than yesterday. Perhaps a tad more… urgent, though.

After months without change, the subtle shift was inexplicable and – more than anything – weird.

_Weird!? Of course it's weird! This whole thing is weird! Even in a supernatural world filled with vampires and werewolves (fine, 'shape-shifters'!), _**this** _is weird. Maybe it's just stress. Maybe I'm just really looking forward to seeing Seth?_

Whoa! I came to a sudden, dead stop. Where did that come from? I just saw Seth yesterday. Now don't get me wrong, Seth is one of my very best friends and I love the kid – he's my brother – but why on Earth would I be _excited_ to see him?

_Hello?_ I mentally asked, figuring maybe someone else had phased in without my noticing.

_Oh my god, I'm going crazy! I can't be hearing voices in my head _again_. I just can't – it's impossible! Unless I'm crazy… Or worse, an even bigger freak than anybody ever thought!_

Okay, that definitely wasn't me. And it wasn't coming from anyone phased in. It felt different.

This was not any form of thought-sharing or connection I'd ever experienced. This was different than the pack mind, different than Edward, Jasper, or Nessie's gifts, just different.

And it felt a whole lot more personal, I could feel a whole set of emotions that were definitely not mine.

The panic-loop being generated between me and whoever I was connecting with – neither of us with any clue as to what was going on – drove me to immediately phase back into my human form. Luckily I was near town. I threw on the shorts tethered to my ankle and began to make my way home as quickly as possible.

Much to my shock, however, the connection didn't close when I phased back, as I thought it would.

If anything, it felt stronger – or at least more intense. It was actually heightened by the addition of my now-human emotions being thrown into the mix, replacing the simpler emotions I experienced as a wolf.

_What a fucked up day…_ Again, not me.

I continued to race home, irrationally thinking that if I could just make it to the sanctuary of my own bed that the delusions would stop. And then I was finally home and flying up the front steps. I opened the door to the house Quil and I shared and was knocked flat on my ass. Literally.

**Author's Note:** If you're a returning reader and have just reread this chapter with its September 2012 updates, this chapter didn't change a whole lot. I mainly just edited it for grammar and style, but I _did_ change a couple of details and added a few things here and there that will probably matter in chapters to come. The content of some updated chapters will be greatly changed, and increasingly so as you move forward – if this is not the case in the next chapter or two, then it definitely will be after that and on through until you hit brand new chapters. I hope you all approve of my changes!

If you're new to this fic (i.e. just reading it for the first time), I hope you enjoyed!

Please, please, please **review** and let me know what you think of either my story or the changes I've made to it with the updates! Thanks in advance for all the reviews!


	3. Chapter 3: Barbecue? What Barbecue?

**Chapter 3: Barbecue? What Barbecue?**

**Embry's POV**

At first, while looking up from my position on the ground, I couldn't figure out what had happened to land me here. Then I noticed my broader, stockier, slightly shorter, roommate staring down at me questioningly.

"Dude, you okay?"

I shook my head, trying to clear out some of the fog created by my strange day and the blow to the head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't see you there."

"You look really out of it, you sure you're okay?" he checked.

I was lucky to have friends that still worried about me after all the misery my pain has caused them.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just been a really weird day is all."

"Well, you can tell me all about it on the way over to Sam and Emily's."

"Sam and Emily's? Why are we going to Sam and Emily's?"

"Man, you really are out of it, aren't you? The barbecue...?" Nope, I got nothing.

"Come on Embry, this has been planned for weeks. I reminded you three times this week alone. I know you've had a rough year but you can't miss this. Everyone's gonna be there – both packs, imprints, elders, families..."

"Take a chill-pill Quil, haha that rhymed really well!... Anyway, just because I forgot, doesn't mean I was trying to skip out. It's not like I've got other plans. Of course I'm coming."

"Oh okay then. You've got five minutes to clean yourself up, make yourself presentable to people who don't live in this house and who _can't_ read your mind, and then we're heading out. I wanna get there soon, Claire's already there."

_Is she now? Really? I never would have guessed from your calm and patient attitude right now._

That was sarcasm, in case you didn't catch it. I love the kid and all (Claire, I mean) but really I'd rather be forced to watch the pornography that Paul's mind spits out, starring Rachel of course, than have to watch one more episode of Dora the Explorer in Quil's head. I don't even have the benefit of imprint-oblivion to help me cope with this trauma.

_You're a grown man, _pendejo_*! You should not know all the words to the "We Did It!" song!_

_Pendejo... great word!_ The first thought had been my own, this one was not. This distracted me for several moments before Quil calling up the stairs in an effort to hurry me along pulled me back to the bathroom I was currently standing in, stopped right in the middle of brushing my teeth.

I guess I had no room to talk, though, when it came to thoughts that spread from one's own mind into the collective consciousness of the pack mind. His thoughts might be annoying, but mine bordered on damaging.

By the time I finished this line of thought, I was ready and headed out the door with Quil.

"So man, want to tell me what happened today that made it such a 'weird' day?"

Wow, that was quick. I thought he'd forget by the time we were actually walking – lost in thoughts of Claire.

Did I really want to tell him about it?

"Well…?" Jesus, he just wasn't going to let up, was he?

Well, I guess no one could ever _actually_ have me locked up in a loony-bin, could they? The risk of an accidental phase would be too great. Besides, Quil _is_ my best friend…

"Ummm... well you know that pull I feel?"

"Uh, yeah… how could I not?"

"Well, I guess the weirdness today started when it... it... it changed."

His head snapped in my direction as he narrowed his eyes at me, in question, "What do you mean it changed?"

"I don't know, it changed… I was phased and out running, just like always, and it just changed. It was just different all of a sudden."

"Different how, though?" he pushed.

"I don't know man, just different. It's hard to describe. It was maybe like a warning? It didn't _really_ change but it was like it was warning me that it's about to or something really big was or is going to happen… I just don't know."

"Hmmm, weird."

_Well, that was a helpful response. Thanks, buddy._

"I know it sounds like nothing really, but it's never done that before, it's never changed. In the span of nearly a year, since it started, it's always felt the same. Sure maybe it's gotten worse or increased in strength or whatever, but it's never changed. And then today it just did," I rambled in confusion and frustration with my inability to describe any of it.

I looked over to see if he was actually paying any attention or if he had returned to Claire-land and I could stop baring my soul.

Much to my disappointment… or pleasure – I'm not quite sure how I feel about telling him all this really – he looked surprisingly interested, motioning with his hands for me to continue.

"And...?"

"And that's when it got truly bizarre and…" dare I go on? This was the point that would make-or-break his belief in my sanity.

_Damn him, he keeps making those freaking hand gestures to get me to go on!_

"And…" he finally verbalized.

"And… that's when otherstrangethingsstartedhap pening," I rushed to exhale, mashing the bulk of the sentence (and really the only important bit) into just one word.

This is the part I didn't really know if I felt like telling him. Everyone already thought there was something wrong with me. I'm sure I already seemed crazy enough without adding 'hears voices in head while not phased' to the questionable resume of my sanity. If I wasn't careful, someone would declare me certifiable and have me forcibly committed in the near future.

"Come again? Maybe a little slower this time so that there are actual words and not just sounds…"

Fine. I'll give you slow, asshole.

"And – that – is – when – other – strange – things – started – happening," I enunciated – quite clearly, if I do say so myself.

He seemed to pay no mind to my antagonism and impatiently pushed, "Come on, you can't just stop there. What weird things!?"

He really seemed to be getting into the mystery of the whole thing. I guess the imagination is easily entertained by such things when your daily activities revolve around a five year-old.

"Fine. Well as I ran, just trying to work out in my head exactly _how_ the pull was different today… all of a sudden, I started _feeling_ a bunch of different things. Some of them seemed totally normal – not necessarily things I expected to be feeling at that exact moment, but nothing that really worried me. Confusion, excitement – you know, feelings you'd expect as you try to track down a constant source of pain and mystery in your life that has unexpectedly changed for the first time in a year."

"So anyway, I kept running and as I did, I began to feel emotions that really made no sense to me. They didn't apply to anything that was happening to me right then – or really even my life in general. Emotions like nostalgia, homesickness, an anxiety that was unrelated to the changing of the pull. Almost like I was feeling someone else's emotions. I was really confused, which seemed to be magnified by the confusion from the other side. And then..." Do I tell him or just leave it at that?

"And then...? Come on! And what 'other side'?" He _is_ my best friend and he _does_ share my head on occasion, literally. I guess if anyone will understand, it's going to be Quil.

"I mean, 'other side' like wherever all these feelings were coming from," I clarified.

"Oh, okay. So. And then…" he returned with a sweeping arm gesture, carrying me forward and pushing me onward with my story.

"And then I heard something." Here goes...

"Heard something? What do you mean you heard something? Heard what!?" He was really getting into this. Like my life had suddenly become his favorite soap-opera.

"Well if I remember correctly it was something about 'maybe the change was caused by stress' and then something to do with Seth. When I heard Seth's name I thought possibly someone had phased and I just didn't realize it or maybe there was even something funky going on between packs, so I tried to speak to it."

"'It' being the as-yet unknown voice in your head?"

"Yes! The voice in my head, alright! Geez, this is already hard enough. I already feel crazy okay? I don't need your sarcasm too."

"Okay, okay, point taken. I was just trying to keep all the pronouns straight. Continue..."

"Fine well, when I tried to speak to 'it', it freaked out and that freaked me out even more… so much that I immediately phased out. Luckily, I wasn't too far from home at that point so I headed back in that direction, on just two feet."

"You're right man, that _is_ a weird day."

"Well, the thing is..." Should I or shouldn't I? The last little bit was by far the most disturbing of it all.

I guess he's been pretty understanding so far. And besides, if I do truly go off the deep end, someone oughta know what's really going on. At least this way he'll have seen it coming.

Here goes… "The thing is… the thoughts and feelings didn't stop when I became human again."

"What!? You heard someone else's thoughts as a human!? Like Cullen-style?" What did I even say to any of that? I had no clue what was happening to me, so how would I ever be able to explain it to someone else?

Luckily (or unluckily, really – take your pick!), I was spared from answering when he continued, "Wait! Does that mean you've STILL got someone else in your head? Like RIGHT NOW!? Even as we speak?"

"Maybe," I began tentatively, not a fan of his new somewhat theatrical (and certainly very loud) reaction.

Then I finally decided that, since I had already put everything out there, I might as well man up and actually talk about it with him. I mean, he already knew – I'd already told him – so no good was going to come from shutting up now. Maybe five or ten minutes ago… But whatever, it's too late to hold anything back from him now.

So I answered again, this time with more conviction, "Well, that _is_ what I said, isn't it? I mean it's not like I've been having a full-out conversation with the voices in my head the whole time you and I've been talking. More than anything, right now it's more just like a 'presence' or something."

I was starting to feel funny as we approached Sam and Emily's house.

"Well I guess it's a good thing both packs and all the elders will be here tonight. Maybe one of them will know what's going on."

"NO! Don't..." I stopped dead in my tracks at the door to the house as Quil held it open, looking back to see why I'd frozen.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I had intended to make him swear not to tell anyone else about this… but I couldn't answer him. Not even to make him promise to keep my _secret_ (you know, the one that was sure to lead to my commitment in a mental ward) just _that_ – a secret.

But all thoughts faded away as the pull suddenly felt stronger than ever before. And it was pulling me into the house. I followed it – everything else around me falling away – through the house, to the open back door. I stepped outside, onto the back deck and the whole world ceased to exist. There was only _her_. And that's when gravity shifted.

She was _the most_ beautiful, strong, perfect woman in the entire world and I had no idea how I had never noticed all this about her before. How had I missed it?

Our eyes met and in that moment, I knew she felt it too.

_It's you._

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

Please leave me a **REVIEW**!

* '_Pendejo_' is a crude word roughly equivalent to 'dumbass' in Spanish. This is not a term to be used in polite conversation, but that's why using it in reference to Dora the Explorer made it all the more funny to me.

Just so you know, I am not a fluent Spanish speaker. I _have_, however, spent many years working in Texas restaurants (where a majority of all employees, and virtually _all_ back-of-house or kitchen workers are native Spanish speakers)…this means most of the Spanish I _do_ know is either somehow food-related or profanity.


	4. Chapter 4: Coming Home

**Chapter 4: Coming Home**

**Embry's POV**

_It's you._

As we stared unblinkingly into each other's eyes, we both knew. We knew the cause of the pain we'd both been experiencing for months, the pull we had been feeling in the other's direction, the feelings of incompleteness, not to mention the shared thoughts and emotions we had experienced earlier today.

As we both began to slowly walk towards each other not noticing the confused people around us or the conversations we had dropped mid-sentence, I remembered that I was still feeling her emotions as well as my own. Although neither of us had thoughts coherent enough to be understandable even for ourselves, I could hear fragments of thoughts flying around chaotically inside her head. I'm sure she was finding conditions fairly similar in mine.

Everything – all the events of the past year, the mysterious pull, what it all meant – it was all coming together but at exactly the same time everything we'd previously known, thought, believed was falling apart.

Approaching each other, we both slowed until we came to a stop, face-to-face.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." _I didn't know it was you I was missing, but I sure as hell definitely missed you too._

Yep, I could definitely still hear her thoughts.

And then there was no longer any distance standing between us, as we each wrapped our arms around the other. Holding her was like coming home and being burned by electricity at the same time.

And then we were kissing and it felt more right than anything ever had – like she was the only girl I had ever kissed and I had been kissing her everyday of my entire life.

At the same time, it was the most exhilarating thing I had ever experienced, the biggest adrenaline rush possible.

It was intense and I never wanted it to stop.

All too soon though, I felt myself being pulled away from her. And before I had a chance to recognize what it was that had separated me from the most beautiful creature known to man (or shape shifter), I heard her scream.

Then the world around me faded to black.

**Author's Note:** I know this is a short one…sorry! Just keep reading is all I can say. And **REVIEW**! Please!


	5. Chapter 5: Struggle With Normality

**Chapter 5: Struggle With Normality**

**Leah's POV**

Moving away had changed me so much, in so many ways. Although my new life had yet to lead to substantial improvement in my heartache, the time away had subtly changed the nature of that heartache.

I had been filled with such incredible hope when I left La Push to start over in Seattle. Hope of leaving behind my crazy life and status as the tribe freak; hope for the future possibilities offered by a fresh beginning and the opportunities available in a big city; hope of finally being able to heal, to move on.

I have experienced my than my fair-share of setbacks in life. The loss of Sam was my initial exposure to the non-stop grief and pain that eventually defined my life in La Push. The agony was even so cruel as to follow me into the unconscious, invading my dreams, leaving me feeling empty and unwanted.

This wound, though tragic, was not a heart-break I felt fate had maliciously aimed at me. Breakups happened everyday.

Even with the additional shock of learning Sam's new love – his reason for leaving me – turned out to be my own cousin, Emily, I feel I still could have recovered and moved on... if only I'd been given a little time.

I wasn't fully broken until, while still trying to handle the damage caused by the betrayal of the former love of my life with my ex-best friend and cousin (practically sister, really!), I received several more crippling blows simultaneously... all wrapped up in one convenient little package.

My first phase.

Along with shocking my father to death – literally – my unprecedented transformation into one of the tribe's legendary 'protectors' inherently came with several new disappointments.

Becoming a werewolf meant being subjected not only to the uncensored minds of six teenage boys, but worst of all... one of those six was Sam. Having to re-live Sam and Emily's happiness – the life that I felt, at the time, should have been mine – every time he and I were phased together served to constantly reopen _that_ wound too.

Beyond cementing my status as a freak, being the only female werewolf in tribe history also apparently made me a genetic dead-end. Our high metabolism ended my ability to menstruate and therefore to reproduce. This defect also made the possibility that I might imprint highly unlikely, since the elders believed that the purpose of imprinting was to provide the best chance of passing on the shape-shifter gene of our ancestors.

Not that I really wanted to imprint. But still… everyone else had the possibility and so it became yet another thing I would be denied. No point wasting a supernatural bond indicating whose DNA is most likely to mix well with yours when you aren't even capable of passing any DNA on to future generations to begin with…

Getting out of Sam's head and getting him out of mine – especially freedom from the little Alpha commands the douche bag seemed to so enjoy giving me and, of course, the constant screening of the 'Sam and Emily: Happily Ever After' channel that was always playing in his thoughts – may just be the single most incredible thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life!

I mean, can you even imagine my relief? Well, no, maybe you can't... unless you hear the thoughts and 'voices' of your relatives and childhood friends in your head too. Then maybe you have an inkling. Or maybe you're just schizophrenic.

Whatever. Point is… my mind will forever be eternally grateful to Jacob Black for his mutiny to protect the devil's spawn because, for me, it meant no more being force-fed images of my cousin mid-orgasm while feeling like I, personally, am balls-deep inside her. Eww... yes, graphic I know. Don't complain until you've actually experienced it. I will probably need therapy for the rest of my potentially eternal lifespan to recover from that one.

The new pack came with its own faults difficulties but hey, as long as Sam was out of the picture I wasn't complaining…

Okay, so maybe I _was_ complaining but I was only half-serious about most of it. After all, our small pack left my headspace to be shared by only one idiot (by which I mean our new oh-so-selfless Alpha) with an obsession for a stupid, whiny leach-lover and her evil fetal growth and my sweet, perverted, clueless, fourteen year old, dumbass kid brother. This was a drastic improvement and I was truly grateful for the escape.

The death of my father was particularly hard on me. I had always been a daddy's girl so my father's death would have been nearly unbearable no matter what the cause.

Unfortunately, _I_ was the cause. That made it all a bit harder… just 'a bit', right? Sure.

Add that one to the ever-growing list of traumatizing subjects to discuss with my future therapist.

Once I moved to Seattle, I forced myself to stop phasing, which is not too hard when you live in the middle of the city and have nowhere to escape detection if you were to explode into a ferocious-looking six-foot tall fur-ball.

I loved the city for its anonymity. No one knew anything about 'protectors' or werewolves or vampires. No one knew anything about my past personal tragedies – romantic or otherwise. And no one knew me as the local harpy, bitch, or freak.

To Seattle, I was just Leah Clearwater – small town Native girl moved to the big city. It was nice to be someone new, to get to invent who I wanted to be rather than having it thrust upon me by my heritage, my abnormalities, and my past.

I didn't _have_ to be the bitter, bitchy, harpy Leah that La Push had come to expect. That Leah needed to be like that to keep people away – to protect herself from other people who would either hurt her or leave her. But in the end, both of these were the same, weren't they? It was just a matter of time until those around her added even more pain to her ever-growing baggage. They all did eventually.

But _this_ Leah, she had never been hurt or left. She had never been shunned or hated. _She_ wasn't a freak of nature (or super-nature, as the case may be); she was just like everyone else. _This_ Leah, she could do whatever she wanted to do, act however she felt like acting, and _be_ whoever she wanted to be.

The La Push boys wouldn't have recognized this new Leah if she had walked up to them on the street and phased before their very eyes… and I loved every bit of it!

I enjoyed school too. I studied history – a subject I couldn't get enough of when it wasn't Quileute legend being shoved down my throat.

I loved this new life – so different, so independent, so very normal.

I had even started to make friends. I hadn't made a new friend – hell, I hadn't even _met_ anyone new (at least, no one that wasn't some sort of other supernatural freak like me) – in years while living in La Push!

But now, in this new life of mine, I had started getting to know a few people from my various classes and two girls living in my building. It was so exciting!

And would you listen to that? It almost sounded like Leah Clearwater, harpy of La Push, just squealed… You really _do_ need to have your hearing checked. It deteriorates with age, you know?

When my body started to return to normal, hope soared within me. I liked being a woman again; it had been a long time. Even though I knew deep-down I would always be different, it was nice to pretend I wasn't.

And then it all came crashing down around me.

The longer I was in Seattle, the more confused I became. When I first moved it had felt great, I could be who I wanted to be – no preconceptions, no duties as a tribe 'protector', no tribe, no Sam. And I began to heal.

But as time wore on, I stopped feeling the improvement of my emotional healing and started feeling lost.

No, I didn't still miss Sam, I was well over that. It was something else, I just didn't know what. It continued to get worse and worse, taking over my life until I was hardly even functional.

All I had wanted in years – ever since this whole super-natural drama began – was to get the hell away from La Push and get my own life. And here I was, with everything I'd ever wanted, not able to enjoy a god-damned minute of it because – for some reason or another – I _still_ could not manage to be freaking normal!

_I haven't always felt this way - like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is or when I lost it. Maybe I never had it and I've only just recently felt its absence. I feel like only half a person - a gaping void in that other half's stead._

I didn't know what was wrong, but I _did_ know that soon I wouldn't be able to live on my own. I was in such great pain – both physically and otherwise – that I had reached a point where I would have to move back home and be cared for by my mom unless things got better.

Things never got better.

Which meant returning to La Push and moving back in with Mommy. Pathetic, I know.

And damn, I just got out of that place. Now here I was, only gone a year, a running back to the rez like a scared little girl who couldn't handle the outside world on her own. A little girl forced home to her mommy.

I always thought that distance – from La Push _and_ from my past – would be the key to my recovery. And it was, in a way. I had managed, in my time away, to pretty much get over most of the blows fate had dealt me over the last few years.

But as for my belief that a happy future lie somewhere far from my hometown and the youth I'd spent there, far distant from my Quileute heritage and all that it involved… Well, on that front, turns out I was wrong.

**Author's Note:** So this is the first chapter where the story with the September 2012 updates _really_ starts to deviate from the previous version. What do you think?

Did anyone catch the tv reference I stuck in there? I'll give you a little clue…it was broadcast by Showcase and then The Movie Network in Canada, Showtime in the US, and (I believe) ITV2 in the UK.

Bonus points to anyone who figures out what show I'm talking about, which I suppose could probably be done just by actually looking up which shows line up to those precise broadcasters, but that's no fun!

…So _double_ bonus points if you can figure out which specific line of this chapter I'm talking about!

Hope you all enjoyed! But even if you didn't, then let me know and…please **REVIEW!**


	6. Chapter 6: A Whole New Leah

**Chapter 6: A Whole New Leah**

**Embry's POV**

_It was intense and I never wanted it to stop._

_All too soon though, I felt myself being pulled away from her. And before I had a chance to recognize what it was that had separated me from the most beautiful creature known to man (or shape shifter), I heard her scream._

_Then the world around me faded to black._

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I woke up in a room I couldn't quite place, with no idea how I'd ended up there. At the same time, I felt more comfortable, more complete, than I had in over a year. Actually, I felt more perfect than I ever had in my entire life.

That's when I noticed that I wasn't alone.

Yes, I was warm. But only now was I aware that the warmth wasn't solely being generated by my own naturally-high body temperature, in combination with the soft bed I was laying in and the blankets partially covering me. Nope, something – or more specifically, some_one_ – else was contributing to the heat.

As I took in my surroundings, gradually blinking my eyes open, I realized that most of the outside warmth I felt was being generated by the miracle I was lucky enough to be holding in my arms.

I took the moment to truly appreciate her beauty. I knew that the opportunity to just observe her was a rare one indeed. She wouldn't let me, I knew that. I knew her. I would only ever have this opportunity while she was sleeping. And I was okay with that, it's who she is.

_Dear God! What the _hell_ is wrong with me!? This is Leah, you're talking about here! Leah Clearwater. Yes, _that_ Leah._

_Remember how you had never done anything to her and then she turns around and goes out of her way to make your life in the Pack miserable for over a year?_

_Remember her? The she-wolf who took out her anger and frustration on poor, little (okay, maybe not little…), undeserving you!_

_I don't care if she apologized and I _did_ forgive her for all that when you joined Jacob's pack! So what if we were actually pretty good friends before she left for Seattle! She's still Leah! Your friend Leah is still a bit-_

Even in my own head, I couldn't complete that thought. All I wanted was to remind myself of the Leah I knew before, maybe that would reverse whatever this was… This feeling that felt remarkably like an imprint – though I was definitely not ready to admit that's what it was yet, not _even_ to myself!

I _did_ have to admit though, at the moment, Leah Clearwater was by far the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes upon.

Even before today, I guess I had always known that. It was a fact of life universally known to the teenage boys of the La Push reservation – Leah Clearwater was the very definition of Native beauty.

I had a crush on her when I was 15. She was always that gorgeous, unreachable older woman (all of 17) – you know, _that_ girl – with the ridiculously cool, intimidating steady boyfriend, who would someday undoubtedly become her husband. Lucky bastard.

Not long after my little crush began though, Sam had broken her heart and she changed drastically. She was still the most beautiful girl on the rez, and probably in the whole state of Washington, but now it was a beauty laced with grief.

Gone was the beauty of a charismatic, carefree 17 year-old girl featured in every local boy's first wet dream. Now Leah Clearwater – with her same perfect, straight features, her rich warm copper skin, and her long, thick shiny black hair – exuded a beauty that could only belong to a woman.

The brand of beauty she held now wasn't just that of any woman – it was the beauty of a woman who had experienced pain and heartache, sorrow and loss – it was a beauty born by the knowledge of hardship and the reality of the life's unfairness. Hers was a beauty reserved for those who know that a fairytale is merely a tragedy that had been cut short in its telling to hide the misfortune that lays at its end and attempts to deceive the unsuspecting into believing in a 'happily ever after'.

There was no happy ending for this princess and she knew it. _This_ Leah Clearwater was the picture of strength and power (at least to the outside world) – fearsome in her own right – and no man would ever make her look, or feel, like a fool again.

When I phased for the first time and learned the full story, a story even she had yet to learn at that point, I hated feeling as though I was conspiring in something that had the potential to cause such destruction – something that had robbed such a beautiful girl of the last of her youth.

But my new extracurricular activities (i.e. being a wolf) and the drama of having to hide this new side of myself from my two lifelong best friends – not to mention my mother! – didn't allow me to dwell on the issue for too long and then life went on. Pack life absorbed my free time and most of my thinking capacity. How could it not with everyone else's thoughts flying around in my head and being added to my own stress and worries?

When Leah joined the pack, not only was she still heartbroken over Sam but now she had to deal with being in his head all the time. Plus, of course, there was also the death of her father with her first phase, and all the trials, tribulations, and self-doubt that accompanied being La Push's only female wolf. Ever.

She became the bitter harpy of La Push and found relief from her own troubles by finding ways to make the rest of us miserable. Ways like constantly questioning the identity of my biological father, a tender issue for not only myself but the whole pack.

I understood why she did it and I felt sorry for her, she had it rough. Doesn't mean it was right, but I knew her anger wasn't really aimed at me personally. It could have been anybody, I was just an easy target. And she _had_ eventually apologized…

Joining Jacob's pack had quite the placating effect on Leah's disposition. Being free from Sam allowed her to move on and focus on herself for a while, rather than having to constantly deal with her feelings for Sam. She was happier, easier to be around, occasionally even fun.

After some time in the new pack, she and I had become what one might call friends (this term is much harder to define when you're privy to all your 'friends' thoughts). In fact, we were well on our way to being really _close_ friends actually – who knew that the bitch and the bastard would get along so well?

Then she left.

I had always thought she was pretty, that there was something special in her. I had just never seen how truly perfect she was until today – but I guess that's the imprinting talking. I know from up-close-and-personal experience that even the great Leah Clearwater has her imperfections. _But those flaws are a big part of what makes her perfect – they're integral to who she is._

…

_Oh God – I can't even control it in my thoughts! Not even five minutes and already it's taking over! Freaking imprint…wait! That's not what this is, this is _not_ an imprint! Right?_

_I mean – really – it _can't_ be, can it? An imprint happens the _first_ time a wolf sees his imprint after he (or she!) has started phasing…and I've seen Leah hundreds, if not thousands, of times! So it absolutely can_not_ be an imprint. So there._

She lay half on top of me, on her stomach, in the crook of my shoulder... _we fit together perfectly_. – _Damnit!_

As she snuggled closer in to my chest, I realized that she wasn't as hot as she should be. Not that she wasn't gorgeous – she was, but her temperature should have been much higher than it felt. I began to panic.

_Oh no, she's sick. What do I do? Should I wake her up first or just go find help?_

I shook her gently and she responded by first pulling herself even closer to my body, releasing the sexiest, groggy sleep-moan I have ever heard, and then slowly opening her eyes to look up at me.

At realizing her position relative to my own, she popped into a sitting position.

She was now sitting on the very edge of the bed with an uncomfortable look on her face. Who knew Leah Clearwater had it in her to feel awkward. Confused, I'd seen. Shocked, hurt, smug, brave…sure. And of course, angry was a face I was _quite_ familiar with on her.

Never awkward though. This was a first.

"Hey, you're awake," she started awkwardly. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain?"

_She_ was concerned about _me_? _She_ had the wolf equivalent of hypothermia and here she was asking how _I_ was feeling…

Then I remembered... I'm pretty sure someone had punched me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you?" I shot back at her.

_Seriously, she is like regular-people temperature!_

By turning the conversation towards her, I could see that I had broken whatever spell the haze of sleep-induced grogginess had cast on her and the sweet, caring personality that I had just briefly gotten a glimpse of was instantaneously replaced by her usual irritated demeanor.

"I'm not the one who was punched," she huffed as she rolled her eyes.

_There we go – an eyeroll! – now that's Leah Clearwater I know. God she's beautiful…Stop it!_

"About that... What happened?" Not that I really cared what had happened as long as I could get some answers about just what was going on here, but I imagine that actually _knowing_ what had happened to me was half the battle to preventing it from happening again.

Now that some of the shock was beginning to subside and I was a bit more aware of my surroundings, I noticed that at the moment I couldn't hear her actual thoughts. I was just feeling her emotions as though they were radiating off her body like heat from a _really_ bad sunburn. I could have taken a stab at what she was thinking, by way of said emotions, but a guess is really all it would have been.

"Sam. He saw us kiss and flipped." She was livid. "He was screaming at you apparently – I don't really remember that part. You were unconscious..." She was frustrated, embarrassed, and – more than anything – _pissed._

…And she was blushing! That was not only a new look I had never seen on Leah before today, it was one I thought impossible.

_Leah Clearwater, blushing! Who'd have thunk it? Ha! …_

Okay, so really it was pretty cute. I wasn't planning to let her know that I'd noticed though, much less that I thought it was a 'cute' look on her – she'd have my ass for sure.

_So Sam was jealous, eh? Little brother movin' in on his girl… No, stop it! Nobody is 'moving in' on anybody else!_

Oh yeah, that's right... I think I forgot to mention that bit, didn't I? Sam finally convinced me to take a paternity test last summer and, thankfully, we _are_ brothers. I say thankfully because we all knew it had to be either Jake, Quil, or Sam.

All three of their fathers had been 'happily' married to their mothers at the time I would have been conceived. So one of them had been betraying their happy little family.

When it turned out that the cheater was Joshua Uley, everyone was pretty relieved and, honestly, not all that surprised since he had turned out to be a real douche-bag in the end. Joshua had been verbally – and occasionally – physically abusive to both Sam and his mother before skipping town when Sam was still in primary school.

Learning that Joshua had been a cheater too didn't upset Sam all that much. Actually, we were both a bit excited – neither of us had ever had a real, blood sibling before – and best of all, my two best friends' happy families remained in-tact.

"I didn't even see him coming. Are you sure you're okay?" I had put a hand on her arm and was really beginning to worry about how cool she was.

_What happened if she just keeled over while we were alone in here? Would everyone blame me? What would I even do or say?_

_Ah! My brain was just not coping with _anything_ today!_

"Lay off Call, I'm fine. Stop asking." Her expression made me think that she knew exactly what I was talking about, but she was hoping that I would just drop it.

"Leah, maybe you should go see Carlisle. Your temperature is really low. Like human-level low. And you smell… off." I could see her famous anger begin to show itself. Directed at me unfortunately, I could feel it too.

"Off? _I_ smell 'off'!? Well, at least I don't smell like a gross cross between sweaty teenage boy and wet dog!" Time to back-track. I grabbed her arm to stop her as she made to leave.

"I didn't mean 'off', like bad. I just meant different than you used to… Sorry?" Was it enough? Or would it only anger the beast further?

She huffed in annoyance but I could feel her fury decline.

"I know you are. And I know you didn't mean it the way I took it. I'm just angry at this whole situation and beyond confused and I especially don't want to talk about my health, okay?"

Jesus, this girl was nothing but surprises today! Apologetic Leah saying how she really feels about something? That's yet _another_ new one for me – or is that actually two?

"Okay, understood. So then this isn't just on my end, right? It happened to you too?" I tried to verify.

She looked hesitant to answer but must have decided there wasn't much point in denying it.

She sighed, "Yeah, for me too."

Silence.

We both avoided looking at one another. I picked a spot on the beige carpet and stared, she decided to go with one on the ceiling.

"And please tell me this isn't what I think it is, right? I mean how… what… why now? It's impossible, right?" I pleaded.

_Come on! Just agree with me damnit!_

She looked at my dazed and slightly miffed expression and began to laugh. She just laughed!

Here I was more off balance than I'd ever felt in my life… and she just went right on laughing. And laughing some more. When she fell to the floor clutching her stomach and crying, I became concerned.

I grabbed her shoulder and turned her to face me so that I knew she was alright. That's when I realized… she wasn't laughing at _me_. And she didn't really think any of this was funny.

She was laughing because it was all so preposterous! And I couldn't stop myself from joining in then…

The two of us imprinting!

_On_ _each other_!

After years of knowing one another! Years of antagonizing each other!

Her – the bitch of the La Push pack, the lone female wolf, the freak, who'd already been involved in more imprint-related scandal than one should ever suffer in a lifetime!

And me – the only wolf not of pure-Quileute blood, the quiet half-brother of an Alpha, the bastard!

Imprinting!

It was just so absurd. Of all the wolves fate could have played its little practical joke on… in some bizarre way, it just made sense that it would be the two of us. So we just continued to laugh.

And that's how Seth found us when he opened the door several minutes later – both of us rolling on the floor, clutching our stomachs in pain, crying our eyes out – laughing.

**Author's Note:** Hope you all enjoyed!

So the tv reference I made in Chapter 5 was to _Secret Diary of a Call Girl_. The specific line in my chapter where I make the reference is "I loved the city for its anonymity." Of course, mine was about Seattle not London (I know, I'm sure Seattle is like a small town in comparison with London), but still… Great show if you've never watched it! Don't even try watching it if graphic sex or nudity makes you uncomfortable, though.

Okay, so I really need to know…did I capture Embry and Leah okay here? They're not too OOC, are they?

They definitely were in the first version of this chapter (pre-Sept. 2012 update), and really it continued all the way through the original versions of all of the first twelve chapters of the story. Hence why I felt the update/edit/almost total re-write necessary.

PLEASE **REVIEW** TO GIVE ME FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER! I REALLY NEED IT ON THIS ONE, MORE THAN WITH ALMOST ANY OTHER CHAPTER YOU'LL READ IN THIS STORY – THIS ONE WILL SET THE TONE FOR THE REST! **TOO OOC OR NOT?**


	7. Chapter 7: Reluctance

**Author's Note:** So other than single words that have only been italicized for emphasis, pretty much all of the italicized text (and _all_ of the italicized phrases or sentences) in this chapter are Leah's internal thoughts – not thought that's being shared with Embry. It should be rather easy to tell the difference, in context. That's it. Enjoy!

**Chapter 7: Reluctance**

**Leah's POV**

Seth poked his head through the door he had cracked open slightly, the glare he directed at Embry briefly struggled to remain in place before a puzzled look won out and took over his face.

"What's so funny, guys?" I don't think either of us could have put an answer into words even if we _had_ been able to speak at the moment. Realizing that he was unlikely to get an answer thanks to our continued laughing, he moved on, and his earlier glare reappeared.

"We saved you guys some food but I'm not making any promises that it'll still be there if you're not downstairs really soon..." he was audibly irritated at not being clued-in.

"Okay." Gasp for air, followed by laughter. "Thanks Seth." Another gasp. Now attempting to reign my laughter in. "We'll be down in just a sec."

Seth looked annoyed that we hadn't let him in on whatever joke it was that we both found so hilarious but he also looked like he was barely containing a bubbling fury.

The annoyance was understandably directed at both of us, while the rage – oddly enough – was shot straight at Embry alone.

I had seen my little brother angry on countless occasions. Hell, as his older sister and only sibling, _I_ was probably better than anyone else in the world at provoking this reaction from my mind-blowingly docile and easy-going baby bro.

And yet…I had never seen him look angry like _this_ before, not even at me. And come on, I could push people's buttons with the best of them! But this look _wasn't _angry. No, it went far beyond angry – it was furious, seething even. If it had been on any face except that of my baby brother, I probably would have found it frightening (not that I _ever_ would have admitted to something like that, regardless of the circumstances).

Still panting and now wiping the tears off my face, just a few more quick giggles and I was done. Embry did the same a few feet away, though it took him a touch less time when he noticed Seth's burning stare and sobered quickly thereafter.

With a final look of suspicion and a shake of his head, Seth ducked back out of the doorway and I could hear his footsteps recede, down the hallway to the stairs, through the still-slightly-ajar bedroom door.

I felt my own mood mirrored in the tension, anxiety, and dread rolling off Embry from a few feet away. It wasn't funny anymore.

We were now both aware of the realization we had each just come to…

If Fate were to decide to mess around with _any_ of the La Push wolves in such a manner, _of course_ it was going to be the two of us. Of course it was.

And that was it. We _had_ imprinted. On each other.

"Oh God," he groaned. "Do you think they'll come looking for us if we just ditch and sneak out the window?"

It wasn't such a bad idea. We could be halfway to Canada by the time they even realized we were gone…

No, we couldn't though. My mother would worry.

"Maybe it won't be as bad as we think?" I naively suggested.

_There we go! Way to stay optimistic, Clearwater!_

Embry's expression clearly advertised his skepticism.

"What do we tell them?" _Isn't he just a practical boy?_

_Man_, my brain corrected itself. Now looking at Embry, I suppose I agreed. He may have still been a boy when I left, but he _was_ a man now – that's for sure.

_And _what_ a man, indeed!_

_Shut up, stupid voice! Freaking imprinting…_

"As little as possible. It's nobody else's business. Besides, we don't _really_ know much of anything at all…"

_Yeah, screw them!_

"We can't exactly lie to Jake, Quil, and your brother. They'll know everything that we know – or thinking we might know – the next time we phase."

_He just _had_ to point that out didn't he?_

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean they need to know right now. And everyone else _certainly_ doesn't need to know."

_Especially Sam_, I thought.

"Understood. We better start heading down though because it's only going to get harder the longer we make them wait. Don't want to give them anymore time than they've already had to formulate questions and make speculations." _Oh Embry, ever the voice of reason._

He got up off the floor and turned to offer me a hand up. I almost took it, unconsciously, before remembering… _I'm Leah Clearwater. I don't need _any_ man's help with _any_thing, much less just standing up from the goddamn floor._

As we crossed the room to the door, ready to meet our fate, he stopped me by grasping my shoulder once again.

I turned to face him, confusion written plainly across my face, I'm sure.

He looked me directly in the eye, and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"This is not the end of the world. So just relax and try not to kill anyone," he coached.

I could tell he wanted me to think he was feeling calm and confident about what we would shortly face. I knew that he was actually just as afraid as I was. After all, he was the one who had _already_ been punched once today.

"Done," I agreed. "Bodily harm is still okay though, right? Only death is off-limits?" Just clarifying my options.

"Sure. Deal," he chuckled.

With that, we left the bedroom and made our way down the hallway towards the staircase, side by side. As we headed to face the questions, confusion, worries, and anger that Fate had lay before us waiting at the bottom of the stairs, my one reassuring thought was that at least this time I wasn't facing it all alone.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading! And thanks, in advance, for **REVIEWING**! ;)


	8. Chapter 8: Shattered Mirrors

**Chapter 8: Shattered Mirrors**

**Seth's POV**

I absolutely cannot believe that asshole! Who does he think he is kissing my sister!? And in front of everyone!

If they were kissing in public, then whatever this is had obviously been going on for a while!

How dare he selfishly risk Leah's happiness and well-being like this!

Where would she be left when things didn't work out or - heaven forbid! – if the jackass imprints!?

She literally can't handle that. I don't think she would survive that. Not again.

She may have seemed like a bitter harpy bitch to most of La Push, but I know the truth. I know that anger, resentment, and cruelty were the only way she was able to hold herself together the first time.

She may think she presents a hard, stone front of fury to the world but I always saw how she would wrap her arms tightly around her middle - right after she let the bitch out in full attack-mode. It was like she was trying to keep herself from physically shattering into a million tiny pieces.

I noticed how she only ever attacked when she was forcefully confronted by the crippling pain of the tragedies life had dealt her. It was always clear to me that – to her – a cruel, merciless offence was her only hope for personal defence at the time.

I was the one who had to listen to her cry herself to sleep every night for years – trying with everything ounce of strength she had to remain silent, even though she believed everyone else in the house to be long asleep.

How dare he threaten to break her like that again!

Moving to Jacob's pack had begun her healing process and she claimed to have continued her recovery in Seattle (though something in her voice every time we had talked while she was there made me suspicious of this claim). But if she was broken _again_, this time I knew she would never be put back together.

Right now, she was like broken mirror temporarily repaired by strips of tape that held the various shards together just a bit longer. But if struck another blow, no amount of tape in the world would make her whole again.

Another blow would shatter each fragment into even smaller pieces - tape be damned! – and some of those pieces would be too small to salvage at all, lost forever.

He was a selfish bastard for even taking a chance that he might break her again.

Then I go up there to bring them down and oh, they're just laughing up a storm! Well… how lovely. But not long and I'll be the one trying to salvage any of the little pieces left of her when she's not laughing anymore.

He'll never laugh again, if I have anything to say about it – since she won't either once she shatters.

In spite of all the anger I felt towards Embry for endangering my only sister's very soul like this, I also found myself feeling a _personal_ sense of betrayal.

How could he have hid this from me? I knew he was better than the rest of us (except probably Leah herself) at hiding thoughts, feelings, and memories he wanted to stay private… but something this big should have been almost impossible for anyone to conceal!

I was simultaneously hurt, confused, and albeit reluctantly (though only mildly) impressed at Embry's ability to keep his thoughts to himself. All I had felt from him in months was despair, pain, and longing, not even a hint of anything Leah-related.

Just as I dead-ended in this train of thought, the two people in question made an appearance at the top of the staircase.

Well, speak of the devil!

Ugh! Why can't I stop remembering seeing them kiss!?

I was faintly aware that mine was not the only growl their appearance elicited in the room as Sam stood up from his position on the couch, eyes burning black with fury, all attention in the room turned on the pair.

**Author's Note:** Oh Seth! What a good brother…so sweet when he's protective of Leah (ergo why I wrote him that way in this story)!

**REVIEW!** Please and thank you!


	9. Chapter 9: Once Upon a Contemplated Suic

**Author's Note:** While pretty much _all_ of this entire chapter is in Leah's head since this is actually a memory (there's really not much action in this one, sorry guys!), there are still italicized thoughts throughout. So italicized thoughts near the start of the chapter are her own mental dialogue. These italics last until Embry makes his appearance. Then from there on out all italicized phrases and sentences are the back-and-forth thoughts between the two. Should be fairly easy to understand, but someone _please_ let me know if it's not! Alright, enjoy!

**Chapter 9: Once Upon A Contemplated Suicide...**

**Leah's POV (flashback)**

I had been standing on this god-forsaken cliff for almost an hour, thinking about dying.

No, I wasn't going to jump...or if I did, it wouldn't be out of suicidal angst since I'm pretty sure a fall into the water from any height wouldn't be enough to kill me.

No, I just liked it up here on the cliff, next to the water. I felt more at peace here than anywhere else, found it easier to think rationally. Something about the dramatic height of the drop from the edge of the cliff to the water below and the vast, infinite horizon off in the distance where the ocean met the sky tended to make a girl realize how insignificant her problems were in the grand scheme of things. Usually.

Tonight though, being here just made me feel hopelessness and despair.

My dad used to bring me here whenever he sensed I was having trouble with something. Sometimes he would talk to me about whatever was bothering me and give me advice. Other times, we would just sit and stare out at the ocean together, letting the peacefulness of the landscape guide our contemplation.

_That is...before I killed him._

So tonight, as I sat my furry ass on the edge of this cliff, this place that had always been a haven in the past – tonight it represented everything that had gone wrong or become messed up in my miserable life. No more Daddy to share in the scenery spread before me. No more Sam because he married Emily today. Okay, so he left me ages ago…but their marriage kind of cemented things in my mind. Imprint or no imprint, he was never coming back – he even had a ring to prove it!

_And now I can't even freaking kill myself by taking a leap off the edge of a cliff because of my crazy, mutant, shape-shifting, werewolf genes!_

_Top it all off with the fact that – since I disappeared just after the start of the reception – I have been gone for over an hour now, and apparently no one even cares enough to notice I'm gone and come looking for me…_

Okay, so I was being _slightly_ over-dramatic. But hey, a girl should be allowed to be a little over-dramatic every now and then! Especially on a day like today – the day when her high school sweetheart marries the woman he left her for, who just also happens to be her former best friend/cousin (so close in childhood, they had been more like sisters).

On a day like _that_, you let a girl be _whatever_ it is that she feels like being… even if that choice _is_ over-dramatic.

That _was_ the worst part though – the fact that I no longer had virtually anyone who cared about me.

Not only had Mother Nature taken a shit on my fate, but now I had driven everyone away from me – leaving me utterly alone in my despair.

Not that I could blame anyone for abandoning me with the way I treated them. I knew I was solely to blame – it was _all_ my fault. But still, of all the hardships I had faced in the last year and a half, accepting the fact that no one cared for me anymore was by far the hardest.

So getting back to the point...how does one go about killing oneself when their body is virtually indestructible? I'd need to give it some further thought – there must be _some_ way to do it…

The only conceivable way I was able to think of was to track down an unfriendly leech (i.e. not any of the Cullens – they'd never bite…literally!), provoke a fight, and let the bloodsucker kill me.

_Or I guess I could always take a gun, aim it directly at my heart, and hope I lost enough blood to kill me before the freaky werewolf healing abilities patched me up…_

But that was taking quite the gamble that I'd bleed fast enough – I healed with super-speed, after all! No, being taken down by a vamp was more of a sure thing.

And beyond the shear reliability of the vamp-method, it would also look like I had died doing my duty to protect the fragile human populations from an unnatural, bloodsucking monster – rather than being overly obvious that I had, in fact, off-ed myself. It would cause less embarrassment for my mom, Seth, and both packs on the whole.

_Would they buy that I'd been "killed in action"? I wonder how long it will take them all to realize I'm gone at all – much less the method of my 'untimely' demise?_

Most wouldn't care anyway; they'd probably feel relieved not having to put up with the bitch-wolf anymore. I made their lives miserable and my temper only served as an added risk of our world's exposure to the masses. _No, they wouldn't care..._

_I think you'd be surprised how many of us would care._ He nudged his big furry nose into my shoulder as he thought this, scaring the living daylights out of me.

_How the hell did you manage to phase and make it all the way over here without me noticing anything at all?_ That sneaky bastard, he always was the best at phasing quietly and going undetected in the pack mind – his quite nature, I suppose.

_I have my ways..._he mentally snickered. _But you can't really go through with anything you thought about. Your plan is no good now that I know all about it._

Damn him! He was right.

_You just have to go and ruin everything, don't you? Is this your twisted way of getting some weird sort revenge for all the times I picked on you?_

It was a legitimate question because he would have had a legitimate reason if revenge was indeed what this was – I had been pretty cruel to him. I experienced a wave of guilt, which I know he felt. Damn pack mind!

_No, though I'd probably be justified if it were…_ He let that statement just hang in the air. But I guess the words were never really 'in the air', now were they? Well then, replace that old saying with whatever adaptation you might come up with for when the words aren't conveyed through vocalized speech but through telepathic thoughts.

He continued,_ I always knew you never really had it out for me, Leah. You would have picked on anyone with as easy a target on their back as I've always had on mine._

_I know it was never really personal for you, with me – just a diversion to distract the others from all that pain_you_feel. If you could just make them focus on me and my drama, then you became less visible._

_I get it. I don't blame you, but you_do _have _quite_ a bit of work ahead of you in making it up to me… And you can start by promising not to try killing yourself._

Wow, that is probably the most I've ever heard out of Embry at one time.

_Oh yeah, and who says I want to make it up to you? Besides, if you ask me, that seems a little backwards. Wouldn't you feel better if the girl who'd spent the last year of her life tormenting you were just gone one day and you never had to deal with her again?_

Come on dude, give me an out here! This whole living thing is just too hard.

He knows I feel guilty about the way I've treated him and he's going to take advantage of that knowledge to trick me into living. Torture, that's what it is. His revenge is the torture of forcing me to live…that tricky son of a bitch!

_I'm not asking this of you to get back at you Leah. It's like I said, I know you only ever attacked me to detract attention away from yourself. And honestly, I forgave you for all that a while ago._

Why would he forgive me? I've never once even apologized to him…

_But I will not forgive you for killing yourself. And I most certainly WILL NOT stand by and watch you do it. The people around you care more about you than you think they do…_ The 'tone' of his thoughts had first risen in a harsh strength for the two first sentences and then softened to barely more than a mental 'whisper' on the last.

Why was he doing this? Why was he saying these things?

_Why do you care?_ Might as well ask the obvious, right?

_Because Leah, I care about _you_. And so do the rest of your pack brothers. Even when we don't like you…we've still always cared._

_Besides, you've been much better since the split. Sometimes you're even_fun_to be around now. When you're not brooding…_

_Your mom and Seth _more_ than care – they _love _you, Leah. I know you don't want to hurt them like that._

_And I know for a fact that Quil and Jacob feel the same way I do. We _all_ care about you, whether or not those two idiots have ever had the balls to say it to your face._

_You may have hurt us all in the past, just as I'm sure we've all hurt you at some point too. That's just the nature of loving another - whether you intend to not. No one would get hurt if they didn't care._

_And even though you seem to think this will make everyone's lives better somehow, I'm telling you now...you're just having a rough day. And killing yourself _will_ hurt everyone that loves you – all of us. Losing you would hurt us all far more than anything else you could _ever_ say or do to us._

_So, please? For me? For them? Just don't even try it, okay? Just promise me you won't and we can pretend like none of this ever happened. I never heard anything because you never thought any of it. I just found you, on this cliff, and we just sat here silently looking out at the ocean for a while. Okay? Promise?_

Holy cow! This kid was entirely serious too. Even though I was only hearing all this in my head, I could still see the sincerity in his eyes. Even worse, I could feel the fear and concern for me in his emotions. How could I even respond after all that?

Knowing that he actually cared about me – that they all cared about me...shoot, now I have to go and get all girly! Misty eyes and all, goddamnit!

I couldn't bring myself to say the actual words, 'I promise' – even though it's what I meant. Not able to come up with anything better to say, I settled for something a little more neutral that might still get my point across.

_You're awfully mushy today._ A little sarcasm seemed called for.

He just smirked in response (or as close to smirking as he could manage as a giant, over-sized wolf), having indeed grasped my meaning, my promise.

_Anyway, I would have been the one to have to deal with Seth's sad puppy-eyes if you died. If you think the kid is heartbreakingly sincere and adorable when he's happy, just think what those eyes would look like sad...Not something I ever care to see or be on the receiving end of, thank you!_

I chuckled in my thoughts, seeing Seth in his wolf form (significantly larger than even the largest domestic dog would ever be), sitting on his hind legs next to the kitchen table while pleading with his huge, innocent puppy-dog eyes, begging me for table scraps from food in front of me.

Okay, so this had never actually happened – it was just funny to think about. But still, it _did_make Embry laugh while I took a moment to study him seriously, as the wolf stared out to sea.

Not sure what I had been looking for, or even really what I found. Whatever it was, I was _still_ shocked at the words that (apparently) left me willingly when I mentally spoke-up a minute later.

_Thanks. You know I care about you too, right? All of you._ Okay, who's being mushy now Clearwater?

_I know._ And that was all there was to say.

I wouldn't be killing myself anytime soon. I knew I couldn't do that to the people who loved me, especially not after being reminded they _did_ indeed love me by Embry that day on the cliff – the day that my ex, Sam, married my cousin, Emily – that.

Embry was a good guy, a good friend. Not many others (_none_ that I could think of, except maybe my baby brother) would have opened themselves up like that – especially for the sake of someone who had, for so long, gone out of her way to hurt him. The incredible ability of that boy's heart and mind, to forgive those who have wronged him (and that's not just me, by the way), would always astounded me.

**Author's Note:** Please **REVIEW** so I can tell whether or not I'm taking the story in the right direction. I kind of have two paths I'm trying to decide between…so your feedback and input are _essential_ to me right now in helping me choose which way to go! Thanks in advance for all the reviews!


	10. Chapter 10: Conversations With Wolves

**Chapter 10: Conversations With Wolves**

**Embry's POV**

As we stood at the top of the staircase, looking down on all our friends and family below us in the Uley living room, I could feel Leah's apprehension.

I had heard at some point that she had finally been able to make some progress in Seattle – finally begun to heal the repeatedly scabbed-over-then-reopened wounds she had walked around with for several years before getting out of La Push. Would any progress she had made ultimately be for naught?

I turned my head to give her what I _hoped_ would come out as a look of reassurance. Obviously I couldn't see what it _actually_ looked like as it crossed my face, but her eyes seemed to be laughing at me so I assume I both failed miserably in my efforts to reassure and yet succeeded in lifting her spirits – if only to amuse her for a brief moment, allowing her to temporarily forget what was about to happen.

As we turned back to the room below us, the whole crowd began to notice our appearance. I heard two very angry growls coming from their ranks and emanating from two very different, almost totally opposite people.

Both Seth and Sam looked like we had just slapped their mothers, after having just called the women whores.

Actually, saying 'we' is a bit misleading – their glares were reserved solely for me, as they both stood fuming and clearly just barely managing to keep themselves from charging up the stairs to maul me. They hardly spared Leah a second glance.

We slowly descended the stairs, side by side, and stopped at the bottom to face the room at large. The expressions we were receiving varied greatly from one person to the next.

Like I said, Seth and Sam both looked furious – though just at me.

Paul looked… disgusted, maybe?

Emily looked ecstatic – though that was hardly an unusual expression for the easily-excitable woman. But Sue Clearwater's face wasn't far off from that of her neice.

Quil seemed to be somewhere between puzzled and contemplative.

Everyone else looked to be at varying levels of confusion.

Neither of us knew what to say, or how to begin. Leah and I both just stood there silently, each hoping for the other – or perhaps someone else in the room – to start what was sure to be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation for all.

Sam spoke first, barely able to contain the rage in his voice.

"So… care to tell us _exactly_ what it is that's been going on between you two and for how long?"

He was so angry he began to shake – in the preliminary stages of an uncontrolled, accidental phase – until Emily laid a hand on his arm, immediately calming him down enough to stop the tremors.

I could tell Leah was too paralyzed by Sam's anger to speak so I rallied all the nerve I had in order to respond.

Screw any plans I might have had for the direction of this conversation! Who the _hell_ did he think he was to speak to either of us like a father scolding misbehaving children that had just been returned home in the back of a police cruiser?

"Well, what time is it?" I inquired calmly, if a bit sarcastically.

After checking the clock on the mantle, I continued, "Hmm, three-thirty? Then I guess _this_," I nodded my head in Leah's direction, "Has been 'going on' – as you put it – for oh… about an hour and a half now."

Sam just scoffed at what had in actuality been the truth (not that he was able to determine this from inside the haze of fury that no doubt thickly clouded his brain's higher reasoning faculties) and pushed, "Sure, okay. And what the hell is it exactly that you think you're doing?"

I looked at Leah before saying anything further, not wanting to offer any information she really didn't want me to give out – to her ex, of all people. But one look at her face told me that she was just as pissed at his nerve as I was and didn't care what I said, so long as it knocked Sam off his oh-so-high goddamned horse.

I could definitely tell she was thinking along the exact same lines I was. I think she and I both realized then that nothing we made up could ever decimate Sam's current righteousness quite like a little more of the truth. She just nodded for me to continue, to just go ahead and tell him.

Turning a steady gaze back on my half-brother, I took three deep, calming breaths before – with one eyebrow raised, to express the contempt I was now feeling – I coolly gave answer to the question they had _all_ desperately wanted someone to ask…

"We're not _doing_ anything, Sam," I paused here, still wrangling the last of the courage I'd need to finish.

"Not that it's any of _your_ business, but what we _did_… was imprint," absolute silence.

"On each other," Leah clarified, finishing for me.

This was apparently the wrong thing to say.

The whole room exploded in a barrage of questions, speculation, and a range of varied well-articulated emotions.

Sam's was the first voice to be heard clearly above the chaos and only then because of the commanding, even quality of his voice as he spoke – his words ringing with the authority of an Alpha-tone. The commotion throughout the room stilled and quieted in nearly an instant, every wolf – except for those of us in Jake's small pack – finding their attention snapped forcibly to focus on their Alpha.

_Fucking dictator!_ I caught Leah's stray thought and, thankfully, just barely managed to suppress an inopportune smile that almost snuck out.

_You said it, sister!_ I thought this back in her 'direction' as loudly as I could – still not quite sure how this whole new connection thing worked between us, but hoping nonetheless that my whole-hearted agreement would somehow make its way into her head.

She must have heard me because I saw her 'accidentally' let a little chuckle slip past her lips before she quickly regained composure and schooled her features back into a mask of disdain.

The brief flash of amusement from Leah apparently confirmed to Sam that we were screwing with him. When he finally addressed us, in front of our now-silent audience of indentured spectators, the tone of his words had escalated from that of resentful rage to a fury so cold that it bordered on outright hatred.

"Right. The two of _you_ have imprinted… Sure," at first he almost sounded amused, but the malicious glint in his eye told them otherwise.

"Just how _stupid_ do you two think I am…think that we _all_ are?" he corrected himself, to presumptuously include everyone before continuing.

"Couldn't even drum up the dignity to put any effort _at all_ into your lies? You _at least_ could have chosen an excuse that we wouldn't have all immediately _known_ to be impossible. You've imprinted…right!" he finished with a venomous snort.

I don't think I've ever been so repulsed by the man standing five feet in front of me at the moment. My own brother – by blood even! – and I could hardly stand to even _look_ at him right now. If you'd asked me at that exact second – in the heat of confrontation, tempers still flaring – I would have told you that I hated him, without even giving it a second thought.

In hind sight, I'm incredibly thankfully that I managed to keep my lips sealed on these thoughts during the hostilities. Not because I didn't, in fact, feel this way at the time or because I now think he didn't deserve my disgust at his behaviour, but because once everything dissipated I'm not sure Sam and I would ever have been able to salvage any of our relatively new bond as brothers. Had either of us actually voiced the loathing we were feeling in that instant, our unseasoned relationship as siblings would likely have gone no further than our fray that day, facing-off in the middle of his living room.

Biting my tongue with the realization that Sam wanted _nothing_ more at the moment than for me to lose my temper and lash out at him like an upset, immature child – validating his condescending opinions – I chose instead to respond to his provocation in the most rational manner I was capable of affecting at the time.

"Apparently, it is _not_ impossible since it just happened."

As it was, the bulk of my anger didn't stem so much from the fact that he didn't believe us. After all, it had never happened before and the idea of it was in reality so outlandish that it was almost ridiculous really. Hell – even Leah and I hadn't quite believed it _ourselves_, at first – and _we_ actually experienced it first hand! Remember our earlier fit of hysterical laughter? Making a bit more sense now?

No, it wasn't the fact that he didn't believe me. What truly burned was the implication he had obviously intended to suggest by the _way_ he expressed his disbelief. The intonation and delivery of his declarations had been spoken not as though to say 'two wolves imprinting on each other and after this many years is impossible', but instead so as to clearly mean 'everyone one knows that it's nearly impossible that _you_ will ever experience an imprint, Embry – and absolutely so, in Leah's case'.

Honestly, I could easily have lived the rest of my unnaturally long life without ever imprinting and probably have been perfectly okay with that. What pissed me off was that Sam – who basically believed that imprinting was just so great that it should be some sort of ultimate life-goal for _all_ of us – had just told us all that he fully expected neither Leah nor I to ever be "gifted" with an imprint, as though we were unworthy of such a reward.

Well, he can just fuck right off, now can't he? Just because he doesn't believe it, doesn't make it any less true!

"Whatever you _think_ happened to you… I assure you, it _didn't_. Imprinting only happens the first time a wolf sees his imprint after he begins to phase," he condescendingly 'explained' as though everyone in the room didn't already know this stuff through-and-through.

"You two have seen each other, known each other, and even been in each others' minds _for years,_" he continued, speaking slowly and clearly as if to a child.

When he seemed to have finished, everyone else's eyes immediately shot over towards Leah and I – looking for one of us to reply. Their back-and-forth manner of focusing as an entire group, was almost reminiscent of fans following a very heated, but _very_ slow tennis match.

"Sam, I can't tell you _why_ it appears to have been different for us than it was for the rest of you. But then again, Leah's _one of a kind_, isn't she now?" I pointed out, with a barely perceptible – but definitely smug – grin just for him.

Okay, so now I was just goading the already-roused Alpha. Sam said nothing in return, settling to merely glower at me for a bit instead.

It was at this point that Seth finally spoke up, uncharacteristically angry in addressing one of his very best friends and his beloved older sister.

"Are you _sure_?" he asked, somewhat wary of the answer.

"You're positive it's an imprint and not something else? Because if you have _any _doubt – either of you – _any_ doubt whatsoever – "

"We're absolutely, one hundred and fifty percent positively sure baby bro," Leah interrupted him softly, finally reentering into the conversation.

Her confidence seemed to reassure Seth that I was not the Devil Incarnate, and assuage some of the aggressive body language he had been sending me.

"No, it just _doesn't_ work that way! You imprint the _first_ time you see her. It doesn't take you years to get around to it!" Sam declared, his voice now rising in volume.

"Besides, Leah can't have children, so she _won't_ ever imprint," he concluded.

I won't deny it…I growled. I just couldn't stop myself.

I probably would have been nearly just as enraged this time last year – when Leah and I were nothing more than pack-mates and recent 'kinda-friends' – so with the urges of the imprint added to my fury, I was dangerous. How fucking _dare_ he!?

Sam had just crossed so far over the line that I couldn't stop myself...

I hit him.

Right square in the centre of the face.

I felt and heard his nose crunch under my fist and then heard Emily scream as blood began to pore out of the broken facial feature in question.

Everyone else just stood idly by, most looking shocked – though I did happen to notice smirks on Seth, Quil, Jacob, and Sue Clearwater's faces.

As Emily ran into the kitchen – most likely to grab paper towels and some ice – Sam returned his attentions to me.

His nose had already stopped bleeding and was probably already half-healed - crooked, I could only hope.

"Okay, so you've gotten me back for earlier-" he began, but I interrupted him before he could finish.

"That had nothing to do with earlier and nothing to do with me. Talk about _MY IMPRINT_ in that manner again – like there's something _wrong_ with her, and it'll be a lot worse than just a broken nose and a little bit of blood next time. There is _nothing_ wrong with her, and frankly, it would be none of your business even if there were."

_Damn! Where the hell did _that_ come from? Oh, yeah – imprinting…here we go. Joy!_

"Besides," I followed up, a bit cooler now. "The imprinting-for-reproduction theory is just that...a theory. No one knows for sure why it happens. Not even you."

I made sure he could hear the anger in my voice and slowly moved closer to him in a threatening manner as I spoke. _Idiot! How are we related again? Oh yeah, our philandering father…_

"We don't have to prove anything to _any_ of you. Like I said before – it's really none of your business."

With that, I moved to make my exit and headed in the direction of the front door. Before I made it across the room, Seth spoke up once again.

"I think it's fantastic!" Well, that was quite the turn around from the angry growling the kid had been doing earlier.

"I was angry because I thought you were just taking advantage of her and you'd only hurt her again someday, but if you _both_ say that you're sure you've imprinted...then I believe it and I'm happy for you guys!"

The kid really was touchingly innocent. Others around the room, all the imprints and most of the other wolves, began to look like they agreed. Sam still looked like he was seeing red though.

Seth continued, "Why do you think it just happened now though? Like Sam said, there's never been a case of a wolf imprinting years after the first sight. So what do you think made it different this time, for you guys?"

"Uh… no idea, kid," was all I could offer.

Looking at Leah though, I got the distinct impression that she wasn't quite so clueless as the rest of us. Just what did she know? And why wasn't she sharing?

**Author's Note:** As always guys, **reviews** **are greatly appreciated!**


	11. Chapter 11: That Damned Pull

**The MOST important Author's Note I've ever written – ***MUST READ BEFORE CONTINUING***:** If you are a follower/returning reader of this story and read the previous chapters of this story prior to September 2012, please go back and read them again!

I decided to totally re-work this story upon my return to fanfiction this past summer (Summer 2012) and essentially rewrote _each_ of the first 10 chapters. This new version of Lost and Found has changed quite a bit from the old, original version (including my deletion of the old Chapters 11 & 12). So if you don't start again at the beginning, you are likely to be rather confused.

I felt that both Leah and Embry (but _especially_ Leah) were far too OOC for my tastes, in the version of Lost and Found I originally wrote. Leah Clearwater's struggle to overcome emotional pain, her sass, and her fierce self-reliance are just a few of the things I absolutely LOVE about the lone she-wolf character Stephanie Meyer created. I felt that I hadn't done justice to the independent spirit of canon Leah in the first rendition of this story. I also thought that my portrayal of the budding relationship between Leah and Embry and its development over time was nowhere near accurate, when taking into account the history that exists between those two characters. Basically, I just felt that _overall_ my previous attempt to tell the Lost and Found story was not some my best writing… So I decided to change it.

I truly hope those of you who read the original (and liked it enough to return for updates) will approve of the changes I've made, but let me know what you think of it either way! Happy reading!

After more than two years, here it is – finally a brand new chapter! Enjoy…

**Chapter 11: That Damned Pull**

_Seth continued, "Why do you think it just happened now though? Like Sam said, there's never been a case of a wolf imprinting years after the first sight. So what do you think made it different this time, for you guys?"_

_"Uh… no idea, kid," was all I could offer._

_Looking at Leah though, I got the distinct impression that she wasn't quite as clueless as the rest of us. Just what did she know? And why wasn't she sharing?_

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**Embry's POV**

I knew that whatever it was Leah knew or was hiding, she certainly wasn't going to spill it in front of practically the whole tribe. So I decided to let the issue drop for the moment and returned to my earlier plans of escape.

I had already made it half-way across the room before Seth had stopped me earlier, so it wasn't too much farther to the door now.

Knowing full well that I was throwing Leah to the wolves – literally, I never even turned my head to look back as I announced to the group as a whole, "Well, great talk! See you guys later!" while I quickly opened the door and darted though, finally making my exit from the awkward gathering.

I felt the pull immediately, calling me back to Leah's side. But there was no way in _hell_ I was going back in that house anytime soon.

Not able to go too far – thanks to the damn pull – and not really wanting to go home since I would be far too easy to find there, I headed towards the water.

My pace was lazy and unhurried – I really didn't have any specific destination in mind. After an indistinct period of time – I honestly don't recall how long I had been walking as I really wasn't paying any attention to the ground my feet traversed, lost in my own head (and Leah's too, I suppose) – I was forced to a stop by the dead-drop ahead and the insurmountable expanse of the sea beyond. My aimless wandering had unintentionally (really, it was!) brought me to a familiar, if ironic, spot.

My feet had inadvertently lead me to Leah's cliff – the one I'd found her on the night of Sam and Emily's wedding, where she sat thinking about dying.

I headed over to the cliff's edge and sat down, legs dangling over the ledge into the empty air, staring out over the mighty Pacific and trying desperately not to think of anything at all, but failing miserably and able to do nothing but.

Strange the way life works, isn't it?

Five years ago, as an average, horny, high school boy who worshipped the very ground she walked on, I would have given anything to have Leah Clearwater even know my name…

Two or three years ago, as a pack-mate often falling victim to her bitter harassment, I would have given anything to have Leah Clearwater just leave me the hell alone…

One year ago, as an almost-friend sitting on a cliff trying to convince her life was still worth living and worrying that I might fail, I would have given anything to have Leah Clearwater feel _hope_ again and see even just a little bit of her long-overdue happiness…

And today, as a newly imprinted wolf, I would now give anything to have Leah Clearwater go back to being nothing more than an almost-friend and pack-mate again, instead of _whatever_ it is that she just became to me…

_I'm not ready for any of this imprinting crap yet! Hell, who am I kidding? – I don't think that I was _ever_ going to be ready for this shit! Guess there's no chance of escaping it all now though – all the crazy drama that seems to go hand-in-hand with imprinting – is there?_

_Why do Leah and I always seem to draw the short straws in life? _

I suppose it wasn't it enough that I was born the tribe bastard.

And I guess it hadn't been enough that she had her heartbroken by a man who she will never really be able to fully remove from her life.

Wasn't enough that I had grown up without a father – a frequent topic of rez gossip over the years – and continued to be judged for the actions of a nameless, faceless man whose identity dimmed my every action, my every achievement?

And apparently it still hadn't been enough when she had become the pack's lone female wolf, _first_ _ever_ in the history of the Quileute tribe – a veritable anomaly.

Was it not enough that I had been one of the biggest sources of tension within the pack right from my first phase – the question of my paternity casting a shadow of doubt on the integrity of both my best friends' fathers?

Honestly though, had she really not suffered enough when she watched her father die, right in front of her eyes and – in her mind, at least – by her own unexpectedly furry hand?

Obviously, none of our past suffering had been enough to ease the grudges that Fate seemed to hold against Leah and me because we were now proving, yet again, to be La Push's black sheep… or really, wolves, right? – we were the tribe's 'black' _wolves_. In addition to all our other abnormalities, Leah and I _both_ were now the _only_ wolves to ever have imprinted on another shape-shifter, on a pack-mate.

_Guess it could be worse…I could have imprinted on one of the guys. If it had to be a pack-mate, at least it's Leah._

_Hahaha! Sad but so very true!_ Her amusement broke into my thoughts.

_It would have been __**hilarious**__ if you _had_ imprinted on one of the pups though!_ Her laughter annoyingly carried on, ringing inside my head.

_Think that's funny, huh? Well just imagine if _you_ had imprinted on _Seth_. I hear he's still imprint-free and available!_

That shocked her into silence and her laughter finally ended, but my own now took its place – thanks to the amusement I felt imagining the look of pure disgust I could practically _see_ taking over her face.

When her thoughts returned from silence, to be met by my continued laughter, they sounded almost more like a growl than actual words. I got the overall gist of them though…

_You're awfully twisted, aren't you, Call. That was just plain wrong on every level. You just wait until I find you, Embry… Can't believe you just left me standing there _alone_, to take on that whole group. You'll be sorry for leaving me high-and-dry once I get my paws on you – or maybe I should say once I get my _claws_ into you…_

_Ooohhh, I'm shaking in my fur already…_ I returned, sarcastically. But I'm not going to lie… Leah Clearwater _always_ scared me a little bit – even more so when she's actually pissed. Not that I'd ever admit to that out loud. So let's just pretend I never said – or thought, I mean… let's just pretend I never _thought_ any of that.

I could tell she was on the move. She must have executed an escape of her own, since I was _positive_ the packs (and especially Sam) would never have just released her from interrogation without full, clear, and precise answers to _all_ of their questions – none of which she actually had, as I well knew.

It wasn't long before I felt her physical presence break through the tree-line ten yards back from the edge of the cliff, where I sat waiting.

Despite her earlier threats, she approached the edge of the cliff in a calm, casual manner and made no moves to attack. Instead, she just sat down next to me, joining me in dangling her legs from the knee down off the side of the cliff.

"That was a pretty crappy thing you did…leaving me there to deal with all of them alone like that," she commented in an empty, even voice. Her detached tone, devoid of _any_ emotion at all, seemed to suggest that her hurt ran deeper than she felt comfortable acknowledging, much less expressing.

I wished then that she actually _had_ decided to go on and hit me, maul me, pull my hair, anything!

_And make it painful please, if you don't mind…_

_God, _nothing_ she could possibly say would have made me feel any shittier than that had!_

…

_And she knew it too!_ _That she-wolf! And I do mean that in every sense of the word!_

I could tell by the slightly smug look on her face that she had known exactly what she was doing, had known exactly how her words would affect me. That was how she intended to punish me – guilt. Rather than beating the shit out of me, she would just give me a little nudge in the right emotional direction and then let me do it myself!

_Clever girl!_ I couldn't help but think. _Manipulative, sure. But _very_ clever!_

"Maybe. But I've been dealing with them alone for nearly a year since you've been gone – I figured it was your turn this time," I responded, adding a small 'I'm sorry' smile, when I turned to face her as I spoke.

"How _did_ you get away, anyways?" I asked, truly curious as to her method of escape.

"What do you mean 'how did I get away'? ... I'm Leah Clearwater, of course, legendary _bitch_ of the Quileute people!"

My face must have said loud and clear that I required a little more in the way of an explanation before I'd let it go. So she went on, "When they started hounding me with questions all I had to do was give them the most hateful look I hold in my arsenal, tell them I didn't freaking feel like dealing with their questions right then in a tone I usually reserve especially for Paul, and then… I just turned and walked out."

I shook my head, slightly in awe of her terrible power. She chuckled a bit, for once enjoying her reputation as a shrew with the potential to become a fearsome, violent, raging bitch in the time it took you to blink, if provoked.

After that, neither of us spoke for several minutes. We just sat there, looking out at the sea and each lost in our own swirling thoughts.

"You know, we should probably talk about it – we'll _have_ to talk about it sooner or later," I started.

"'Bout what?" she replied without turning to look at me, faking ignorance in the hopes of avoiding this particular discussion – or at least postponing it.

My only answer was the glare I sent her, which said 'you damn-well know _exactly_ what I'm talking about – is there even anything else going on in the world right now – come to think of it, is the Earth even still spinning?', and managed to convey my extreme aggravation, all without my ever having actually said a word.

She didn't argue though. She just sighed, but then remained silent on the subject nonetheless. Apparently she was waiting for me to start us off.

"Fine, I'll go first then, shall I?" I huffed in irritation.

If she wouldn't talk then I'd just have to push forward until she chose to join in, "It was starting to get really bad for me, you know – the pain, I mean. And the pull too, I guess. But the pain was closing in on nearly debilitating."

I stopped to let my words settle in the silence between us. I wasn't sure where I was going with this, so I took the brief pause to collect my thoughts a bit better and choose my next words carefully before proceeding.

She surprised me though, when she began speaking before I managed to go on. When she spoke, it sounded like she was answering a question I had never even asked her.

"I know. Why do you think I came home? I was hardly even functioning anymore. I couldn't even drive myself home, I had to have my mom come up and get me at school," she supplied.

It's silly really, but I actually exhaled a breath of relief as she confirmed that it hadn't just been me. I mean, sure, I knew the imprint was mutual – she had said as much, both in the privacy of the bedroom I'd first woken up in and then again downstairs, in front of everyone else.

I didn't know, however, what else we might have shared in regards to our imprinting experiences. And by that, I mean that I didn't really know if she had gone through all the crap leading up to imprinting like I had over the past year or if maybe she had arrived in La Push today, completely normal, and then BOOM – all of a sudden she just imprinted.

Well, I guess I know now. She went through 'the year from hell', same as me. Although, I guess _every_ year over the past half-decade has probably felt like 'the year from hell' in Leah's life. That thought made me feel oh-so-guilty for any earlier relief I had experienced at the knowledge that I hadn't been the only weirdo to be so drastically affected by our pull.

And since we both were clearly destined to always be the pack outcasts, in every way that might ever be possible or could even be imagined, so it also seemed that our imprint would be just as atypical as the two wolves it now forever connected.

Not only were we the first wolves _ever_ to imprint on another pack member, _none_ of the other imprinted wolves had ever experienced any of the 'symptoms' Leah and I had over the past year, leading up to the 'main event' (i.e. actually imprinting on each other).

Sure maybe they felt a bit of a pull, but it wasn't an all-consuming pull like ours. And before they actually imprinted, only when they were close enough that they might easily follow the pull to within sight-range of their future imprint could they even noticeably feel it at all really.

Example: Paul and Rachel. When Rachel Black had come back into town, there had been several instances in which Paul had come as close to her as the front door of her father's house, where she slept inside. While standing on the porch, after knocking, and waiting for Jacob to come to the door and follow him away to a pack meeting, he had felt Rachel's proximity pulling at him to go inside the house. Standing in front of a locked door though, there was really no sane way _to_ follow it, so he just dealt with the urge by trying – and succeeding – to ignore it.

Sure, he wondered what the hell was going on and briefly considered that he might be going crazy – not that you'll _ever_ hear Paul admit to it, not even torture could wrestle that one out of him. But trust me – after all, I should know – not even repetitively singing "This is the song that never ends…" at the top of his mental 'lungs' was able to drown out the memories of those moments of self-doubt when he phased soon after.

Each time the door to the Black home had eventually been opened – no longer blocking the path his pull had wanted him to follow, one that led straight to Rachel – he had always ended up being physically dragged away from the house (and 'his destiny') by some pack-mate or other until he gained a suitable distance from her and the pull mostly faded.

Like I said, this happened to him several times before he actually set eyes on Rachel for the first time since he started phasing and, when he finally did, that was it – his whole world had shifted in an instant.

Our pull had not been anywhere near as patient or gentle with us. Or at least, it hadn't been with me. No distance was enough to diminish it – in fact, I think it might have actually been made _stronger_ by our distance, while Leah was away at school in Seattle.

It seemed to me that there might be even more oddities in our imprint besides just the aforementioned oddities of 'the pull' and then, of course, the obvious…

'The obvious', of course, would be our newfound ability to hold mental conversations with one another while standing on _only_ two legs (as opposed to the _four_ legs with which, years ago, we had first grown used to silent forms of communication).

My thoughts have veered _way_ off track now, more on the abnormalities of Embry and Leah to come later...

What were we talking about again? Leah had said something a minute ago, hadn't she? She wasn't waiting for some answer to a question I'd already forgotten, was she? What was it she said again? She's probably waiting for me to at least say something, anything back…

Oh yeah! She's been feeling like crap all year too. That's why she had come home to La Push – because it had gotten so bad. She couldn't even drive home from Seattle, her mom had had to go and get her.

_She must have hated that! Leah has always hated not being able to do something herself… Needing help with something as simple as driving the few hours home from Seattle must have nearly killed the woman!_

"I'm sorry, Lee," was all I said.

What else _could_ I say, really? No words from my mouth could possibly have consoled her feelings of what I assume to probably be helplessness, shame, anger, and resentment at the whole situation. I couldn't necessarily stop all my thoughts from reaching her – I couldn't control it like that quite yet. But all I would do by commenting on it any further was either embarrass her even more or worse, refocus her anger in _my_ direction. We already secretly established that an angry Leah Clearwater pretty much scares the bejeezes right out of me, correct?

"Only two hours in and _already_ this damned imprint is ruining lives…" she observed. The look in her eyes and her choice of words told me she was really thinking about _another_ imprint that had once ruined her life.

The silence that followed sat heavy in the air around us. Occasionally, I glanced over to my right to find Leah still staring out at the empty water, as though the edge of the world lay only as far as the ocean's horizon and by spotting it she might solve all her problems.

It was the familiarity of that look on her face, reminding me of the last time she and I had sat together on this very same cliff, which finally led me to break the quiet that had fallen between us – just as it had begun to feel too overwhelming to bear any longer.

"You know that we can't just _make_ it go away, right? Nothing we do is going to change it now, Lee, we're…stuck with it now, I guess – stuck with _each other_," I brilliantly informed her. I had turned to look directly into her pretty, big brown eyes as I said it, hoping the eye-contact would reinforce the sincerity with which I spoke – even if those eyes didn't look back at me.

I expected to see anger, horror, resignation, or any numbers of other emotions play-out through her expression – all of which assumed the logic and rationality of my question-cum-statement about the permanence of our imprint to be irrefutable. Where I had _expected_ to read one or more of these things on her face, all I actually _did_ see was doubt…genuine, unadulterated doubt.

Was she in denial of the lasting impact an imprint held for the two souls it connected? Or did she perhaps have doubts about the true indestructibility of the imprint-bond and hope that we might discover the secret to dissolving an imprint, so that she could break ours?

"Lee?" I checked to make sure she'd even heard me.

If nothing else, I had at least expected some sort of characteristic snarky, sarcastic retort out of Leah. She never failed to get one of _those_ off when an opportunity presented, always ready with one waiting on the tip of her tongue for just the right moment.

"Lee!" I tried again to grab her attention.

When her restrained response only grew minimally, in answer to my calls, to now include worrying her full, pink bottom lip between her teeth, I instinctively _knew_ that our conversation had been touching upon whatever it was that I had suspected she was hiding from me.

And now I didn't just _want_ to know. If our imprint was involved in her secret, then inextricably I was involved too. So now I _needed_ to know.

"Okay, Clearwater, spill. Now."

**Author's Note:** I realize that this story has not officially been 'updated' in over two years (since posting my newly reworked chapters did not appear to count as an 'update'), but I'd like to make a few long-overdue review shout-outs:

To suzmac33, Little Emily, I WANT TO GO AWAY NOW (nice catch on my mistake in directions!), Littlestokes, xxBloodyRoseAlchemistxx, and HamaK0, who all reviewed the last chapter I posted for this fic on 03/05/10 (the old version's Chapter 12, which now no longer exists) – THANK YOU all so much for your reviews! It is, in large part, due to you guys that I decided to pick this fic back up when I returned to fanfiction. So I hope you all enjoy the story's slightly new direction and some of the changes I've made herein.

To those of you who reviewed any previous chapters (before the most recent Chapter 12 of the old version), I appreciate your reviews too and hope to receive more of them on this new version of Lost and Found!

Most of all, my HUGEST thanks goes out to *****Evil-Angel-23*****, the most thorough, reliable, dedicated reviewer I have ever been lucky enough to have review one of my fics (she reviewed every single chapter of the original version of this story – all 12 of them)! Thank you so, so, SO much, Angel, for your appreciation, input, and support! I hope for your approval (above any other's, in fact) on my changes to this story! But I'm sure if you don't in fact approve then you'll be sure to let me know… And don't worry, I'll make sure to work Embry punching Sam back into the story at some point (probably pretty soon) – I know you liked that bit. Thanks again, you'll never know how much your detailed reviews have meant to this story! XOXO

Let me know what you all think – about this newest chapter, about my new version of Lost and Found, about the direction in which this story is heading – and help me stay motivated to keep writing…**REVIEW!**


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